The übergadget

Das ubergadget

Definition: 

The gadget above all gadgets. The one. The "my precious" gadget. The headturner. The conversation opener. The "gee Dad, i want one of these". The "how much did that cost, dude?". The "a little better than sex" gadget. The "i want this now but how the heck am i gonna justify the cost to the missus? Ahhh, found it, i'll blame it on the kids...". Both synthetics of the word are equally important. It has to be a gadget of course, while it also has to be something uhmmm you know, special, after all.

Basic attributes of the ideal gadget: 

1) It has to be small, as in portable, as in "i can show off to my friends and neighbors and coworkers".  As in a house or a car cannot be considered a gadget, it is just too damned useful/big/common. You get what i am saying?

2) It has to be able to fly. Simple as that. Whoever has been a kid at his/her youth, and by "kid" i mean a real kid (not the super responsible overachiever - great school grades compulsory - preadolescent type who dresses up like his 35 years senior dad/mum and even worse behaves likewise) may be able to comprehend the need for the ubergdget to be able to fly. Try to grasp the concept of absolute freedom, that can only be approximated by an overactive childhood imagination and you are close. Did that? Now please get back to your report for the upper management. You have a strict deadline, in case you managed to forget for a split second.

3) It must have a remote control. Obviously.

4) The "WOW" factor should be extremely high. How can that be measured? Pretty simple actually. If random people on the street (extra points for individuals above 70 years old) see it and say "Oh my God, what is this?" then you are in the right direction. Ideally you should see the jaw-dropping sequence take place on the faces of innocent bystanders.

Does it exist?

Back to reality, then. Does such a thing even exist? Can you think of any candidate for the ubergadget throne? No? Let's make it a little harder, then. How about something that satisfies the above criteria while throwing a healthy dose of voyerism in the mix? Childhood innocense and curiosity again come to mind here, but i will not elaborate this time.

It does exist, dear readers and it is called AR Drone 2.0! Do you also want the ubergadget? You can get it for 320 EUR right now. Is that too much? Nuhhh, that's what i save for each 4 months i manage to remain an ex-smoker. Oh, you also need an iPhone or Android smartphone that is going to be the remote control. But you already have one of these since you are reading this blog, don't you?

The AR Drone 2.0

Ladies and gentlemen please welcome the most easily remotely controllable flying thing ever. (If you have ever tried to fly a remote controlled helicopter you may appreciate the true meaning of the word difficult. These things have 6 or even 8 channel controls, with each channel corresponding to a degree of freedom! It is unbelievably hard to master the control of these things. Just imagine having 8

little joysticks to choose from any given second... Long story short: If you absolytely have to fly a remote controlled "toy" helicopter or the real thing, i suggest you go for the real thing - it should be a little easier!)

I do not want to reproduce the spec sheet here, but you really shoud see this.

Remember the WOW factor? Well you may be impressed even before you fork out the money to purchase the drone - while drooling over the technical jargon - even if you don't understand a single thing about it.

Let me give you tthe executive summary, though:

By means of some really clever tech, the drone hovers in place in place when no external forces are applied. If you fly it indoors you can see that it stays almost perfectly stationary, which is a big feat in itself. The way to control it is really simple and intuitive, thanks to the absolute control that was introduced with the second version of the AR Drone. You use your smarphone's motion sensors and the drone responds perfectly. You won't believe it till you see it happen. Of course the whole connection thing is through wifi. The drone creates it's own access point and your phone connects to it. The range is more than you would feel comfortable with the first hundreds or so times you get out and fly, but then again there is a whole community of people who have hacked their drones to (by far) increase the 50 meter out of the box range.

Did i mention it features two cameras? One HD capable for videos and stills and a QVGA one mainly used for ground speed measurement, though one can also utilise this one for video recording purposes as well.

The killer feature is that the drone streams real time HD video to your phone while it flies. YES. You can also record it of course and even take pictures at the same time. If you (think) you are good enough you may even fly it without having direct visual contact, the range is more than enough for this kind of suicide missions.

The learning curve is not steep at all, but beware dear reader: Do not fly this thing if the wind is more than 2 on the  Beaufort scale. Again: Do not fly this God damned thing if the wind is more than 2 on the  Beaufort scale. I really cannot stress enough the importance and wisdom of these words. Let's just say that the first time it cost me 90 euros and 10 days of waiting and leave it to that. You see, the drone is actually featherweight at 380 grams, therefore even the smallest gust of wind may through it out of your control area (see tips section bellow)...

Talking about repairs, the AR Drone 2.0 is 100% repairable by you. You can (BIG question mark here...) disassemble it in aproximmately a million pieces. Do it once while being blind folded and you can become the IKEA evangelist for the millenium. As well as the next one. There are howto videos all over youtube that may guide you. You can of course order the exact component you want to replace, so for those among you who can "do stuff with their hands" it should be fairly easy and not overly expensive to repair.

Some tips:

1) Fly it on days with absolutely no wind the first few times. Best time should be early in the morning, or late in the evening.

2) If you use a smartphone, you should maybe consider turning the phone off. The phone ringing (which will interrupt your controls) maybe more than enough of a distraction necessary to make you cross the thin red line between "Oh man look at me, i am a mean mutha flying this shit like a pro!" and "Ohhhhhh shit, i crashed (again)!" Although if the phone rings the drone is supposed to just hover where it was right before the ring.

3) It may not be at all windy at ground level, but 30 meters up it can be a totally different story. Trust me on this one.

4) Even if you are a complete total newbie do not hesitate to set the vertical speed to high. It could be the single thing that will save your drone from a flyaway with probably disastrous results. A single gust of wind may lift your drone 10 meters up and you really need all the force you can have to save it from entering the "shit, the wifi link is too weak to call the drone back" zone.

5) Do not migrate to "unofficial" smartphone control apps before you have mastered the official one. The extra functionality may work against total newbies.

Experience:

Flying the drone on a day with no wind is absolutely amazing. It flies smoothly, goes where you want it to go (again, you cannot fully appreciate the meaning of this particular statement if you have never tried to use an R/C helicopter - futility is the one word that comes to mind), it is very stable. You can micro control it to look right into someone's eyes and you can have unlimited amounts of fun with unsuspected cats. It seems that cats are especially agitated by the drone. (Can't say why.) Or you can just  get to the point and use the drone on a "surveillance" mission, foucused on your new neighbor next door, right? NOPE. If it is spying / voyerism that your heart desires, you may forget about the drone right now. Can't be used this way (and that is a good thing, i assure you), unless the sexy neighbor enjoys being spied upon (which would render the entire voyer perspective kind of invalid to say the least) or is 100% deaf or both. You see, the four 28,500 rpm motors make a "unique" kind of noise, that somehow reminds me of a hybrid between an F1 race car and a crybaby (you are gonna love that sound though, trust me). The live video feed is a great feature and if/when you eventually manage to master the controls you may actually sometime be able to fly the drone beyond your field of view, only based on what you see on screen. The battery life is about 10 mins (you can always shop for an aftermarket higher capacity one), which may initially seem to be a little on the short side, but rest assured that:

1) It is actually rather good, if it is electrically powered remotely controlled flying things we are talking about.

2) The levels of adrenaline produced are just too high to keep pumping for prolonged amounts of time.

Kids (yours or other people's) simply love it. Videogames seem to have pushed natural evolution into the direction of kids being born boasting an extreme degree of familiarity with tiny joysticks and on screen controls. Of course qucik reflexes certainly do not harm here. Fathers (as well as soon to be fathers, wannabe fathers, could be fathers and such) of kids also love it. Women are not impressed (of course) but seem to have a high tolerance towards the drone, as well as it is not flying and in any case before they find out how much it cost. Let me provide another tip here again: A possible workaround for your "significant other half's" whining regarding the amount of money spent on the drone (as well as the unwanted but most likely entirely expected repair jobs) may include kids' birthdays or even bringing out the big guns: Stories (true or fictional) of your childhood focusing on the fact that you have always desired a particular toy but your cruel family did not buy it for you leading to years of misery that either frequent as well as expensive sessions with a shrink might begin to dissolve or the AR Drone 2.0 can fix in a second. What would you choose, honey?

Conclusion: 

The AR Drone 2.0 is indeed the ubergadget. Depending on your point of vierw, it may be considered as:

• A ridiculously expensive smartphone accessory, 
• or a deep dive to the fountain of youth, 
• or anything in between. 

For gadget lovers i cannot but recommend it with all my heart. It provides a (sort of) lifechanging experience for techheads, while the first three minutes of the first flight (which most probably will take place in your living room) can only be compared to your first three minutes of riding a bicycle without aid. Or your first kiss. Or your first live concert. Or your first "few drinks" that ended up with you drunk. Be prepared to form a direct link to your childhood days of innoscence, the drone can do that magical thing. Let's just not forget that childhood also had it's "bad" moments, so your first true crash (damages are compulsory if it is to be considered a real crash) might also bring up memories of your first break up, as well...

All in all, dear reader, if you need a present for yourself, just a little something for you, a little expense that does not need to be rationalised, do not hesitate at all. Gadget Heaven is already here, all you have to do is get out and grasp it (online purchase is not actually recommended for such impulse decisions - gadget lovers the world over already know the feeling, if you want it you want it now!). Have a nice flight!

iSweat(WheniRun)

iSweat(WheniRun)

Running=Sweating

Okay, let me clearly state that I do not actually enjoy bitching ALL the time about my gadgets. Please try to keep that in mind before you write me off as a total whiner. I am just an average Joe, and the average Joe DOES sweat when she/he works out as you probably already know.

Music soothes even the savage beast

I must admit it, working out is a pain, nobody really enjoys the procedure itself (the endorphins come after you are through exercising, mind you) - although it’s results may be quite enjoyable. For example, having a lean body may help someone in attracting an "other significant half" with an also nice body. No guarantees, of course, but one can only hope for the best. 

So, many individuals try to make working out (a bit) more bearable. That’s where music comes onto stage. Jogging for instance, becomes an immensely better experience when you hear your favorite beats on your favorite headset.

Can’t have it all though, because headsets have wires and wires tend to annoy very much while training. Thank God for the bluetooth headsets then. Your favorite music streams from your phone wirelessly while you sweat out your body. A perfect solution. Or maybe not?

Can't have it all

Actually stereo BT headsets work perfectly, as long as you are NOT sweating. Since most human beings do sweat while working out though, these headsets become quite possibly the greatest frustration since the introduction of income tax. Or maybe since fish evolved to having one million little bones each, that you have to carefully separate and remove before enjoying it. Nuh, wait, found it: Since  Gangnam Style lobotomised one billion human brains. (On a more serious note, see this - it actually can get worse than Gangnam Style...) Period.

Personally speaking, in the six months after I took up jogging, four stereo BT headsets have died on me. Four headsets in six months, two of them on their first training session! Please note that all of them were advertised and sold as sweat proof. The only amusement (hardly worth the amount of money I had paid) was trying to guess the training session of death (will it be the first this time?), as well as the exact way each would die. Two of them became unresponsive (buttons not working, could not even turn off!) and eventually their battery died and they would not recharge. One just turned off by itself and never turned on again. The last one at least was kind enough to show signs of degrading performance (terrible static noise) and after exactly 22 mins of light jogging stopped working. Forever. I think it cost me about 1 Euro/min to enjoy this particular headset. It was a cheap one, after all.

Could this be because I am plain unlucky? Thought so, that’s why I googled my frustration and guess what, I am not the only one. Check the correct forums and you will meet an angry crowd of annoyed people complaining about the same thing. Bottom line: If you sweat, (chances are) no music for you. Not wirelessly at least.

One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind

I do not know whether it is technically impossible for a manufacturer to produce a wireless stereo headset that is 100% sweat proof, but we’ve visited the moon 44 years ago, didn’t we? If it is not possible then they should not be advertised as sweat proof. Simple as that. Manufacturers you have to  stop misleading your customers. Have a big sticker on the box that clearly states that “This headset is not for the average individual. Only people who do not sweat at all should use it while working out”. Then again, if a manufacturer out there can do the impossible and is reading this, rest assured that there are enough people the world over who are more than willing to pay a premium price for a product that will deliver.

Until then, pick your choice. Either workout or wireless music.

iSmoke #not

Okay, i am calling this blog notjusthitech. Which means it is not just about hi tech. So please, dear reader, hop on aboard a low tech ride to the limits of human stupidity. Yeap, you had it right. This post deals with my smoking addiction and the way out of it (for the time being). While preparing for the ride, i am  asking you to think about your biggest success so far. Or maybe about a hard choice that you have had to make. Or a sacrifice for your most beloved: You.

Smoking related facts

Let me first set some things straight by providing the bellow facts:

1. Smoking is bad for your health. No need to elaborate on this one.

2. Smoking is bad for your wallet.

3. Smoking is bad for people near you (people you love/care about are included).

4. Smoking is bad for your, uhhmmm, bedroom performance.

5. Smoking sometimes feels awesome.

6. If you have never been a smoker in your life, chances are you are happy and do not even know it.

7. The level of addiction to smoking is different among different people.

8. There are people who have managed to quit smoking.

9. Only about 4% to 7% of people are able to quit smoking on any given attempt without medicines or other help.

10. The government does not care about your health. All they care about is how much your smoking related health issues will cost them. And it is true that it will cost significantly more  than they make in smoke related tax money. That alone explains the antismoking propaganda we are now experiencing, whereas fifty years ago governments had no objections whatsoever.

11. Young people are getting smarter and they can understand the risks of smoking.

12. Tobacco companies are evil. Pure evil. They use additives to make smoking even more addicting. Yeap. 

13. It is really hard to quit smoking and stay out of it for prolonged periods of time (best case scenario: rest of your life).

Personal experience

14 years of smoking

I started being a professional smoker when i was 19 years old. Of course i had been smoking a little even when i was in high school but it was not systematic or actually quite enjoyable. I did it just so that my pals could see me. Mostly on a Saturday night, when i was out with friends. All i wanted to do was make sure i was counting as a true member of the "hip" group of adolescent idiots that were considered trendy/socially succesful back then.

It was while wasting my second year as a technical student that i really took up smoking. This is when i became addicted. It did not happen overnight, but i could sense it after it happened. Cigarettes became something i really had to regularly "enjoy". I have never been a heavy smoker, since i used to top out at about 15 cigarettes a day. Every day, that is. And i needed each and every one of these God damned cancer sticks. Did i enjoy them all? By far, no. But some felt (the word "felt" was very carefully chosen - it will all be clear if you keep reading this) great. No reason to lie here.

There were however many nights (early mornings if the night was succesful) i would come home after hanging out for a few drinks with friends, that i really hated myself for smoking. It had to do with that particular taste and smell that only smokers can identify with. A feeling of "no more" before you crash into bed that is replaced by "i want one" by the time you wake up.

I had twice tried kicking the habit when i was about 25 years old. 

1. The first time it was on May 31 (can't remember the year though) which is the World No Tobacco Day. I managed to stay away for 45 days and then i smoked again. Oh God, it felt so good!
2. The second time i had a respiratory infection which rendered smoking an impossibility for a few days, so i grasped the chance and managed to quit for a month. And then i smoked again. And it again felt good!

 I was not ready to quit. Simple as that. My attempts were half hearted and doomed to fail. 

The decision to quit

It is the 15th of March, 2012 and a dear friend of mine (who had been smoking two packs a day for five years) calls me and the following dialog takes place:

- Know what? I quit smoking today!

- No way!

- No, i did and i intend to keep it this way.

- You won't do it.

- Wanna bet?

- Yeap.

- Okay, if in one month i am not smoking then you too quit. Deal?

- Okay. (I was thinking that she would not manage to quit, so i felt safe...)

But unfortunately she did quit and on April 15 she called again and reminded me about my part of the deal. That was it. It was a matter of pure luck that i also decided to try quitting. In the photo you can see the last pack of cigarettes i have ever purchased and hopefully it shall remain the last one. 

Is it easy to keep on living after you quit?

The first days

Well, for the first few days which may stretch up to a month, the sincere answer is no. No. No. No. It is very difficult. You are trying to win one of the most powerful addictive substances in the universe (nicotine, that is) as well as the additives (599 of them last time i checked) that tobacco companies use to hook you up for good. It feels very bad. I am not going to go into details, but it feels like when your girlfriend that you are very much in love with unexpectedly decides to break up with you. Only worse. Because when you break up you can smoke (and drink) all the way out of your misery, whereas when you quit smoking your girlfriend cannot really help you. It is a battle you have to fight against yourself.

The above stands if your try to quit cold turkey. There are also other ways to try quitting, but i cannot testify about them.

After the first month

After the first month things are getting significantly better. The craves are not that frequent, the nervousness recedes, sleep quality improves. Still, in my case, a mild depression was present. It felt like my world was drained of it's colour. Like suffering from a hunger that was present all the time, one that could not be satisfied. Like a dark cloud preventing the sun from warming my heart. Like the new iPhone is out and you do not have the money to buy it, while being a fanboy at the same time. Or something like that. Hope you get the meaning.

These are the symptoms that you are winning the battle. Perhaps the most astonishing thing i have read about the effect of nicotine on the brain is that the "good" feeling you enjoy when smoking (let's say the first cigarette of the day after a nice breakfast) is the result of the shock that you force your organism to endure by poisoning yourself with nicotine. 

The first thing that a quitter notices is the sense of smell that returns with a vengeance. Dear smokers among you, believe me. You cannot smell anything at all. If you manage to stay away for some months, the respiratory benefits are also becoming obvious. Best way to measure that is by exercising regularly.

After the first year

Let's assume that you have managed to stay clear for one year, one month and nine days. Are you through yet? Nope. It may take another half a century before you are completely free. But all you have to do is "never take another puff" as Joel Spitzer put it.

The craves come and go every once in a while and they are not that intense. But it's easy to believe that you have killed the (immortal) nicotine monster and that may lead to just one cigarette which will definitely renew your daily subscription to the "Lung cancer, heart attack if you're lucky or C.O.P.D. to say the least"  Times special edition for big time suckers that are hooked in the "pay2die" service the tobacco companies are offering.

The hi tech aspect

Maybe you are too young to be actually motivated to stop smoking by the health related benefits. How about an annual bonus of a thousand Euros then? How does that sound? As you can see, i have saved 1.054,84 Euros so far and i was smoking an average of 13 fags a day while one pack cost 4 Euros. If you are doing two packs a day, please do the math. It is a serious amount of money. How about a vacation abroad every year for free?

Even better, how about the latest iPhone and iPad for free? Or a hi end laptop? Or a 46 inch 3D smart TV?  Or whatever it is from the gadget universe that your heart desires and costs a grand (or even more)? How about that? Why not kill the iSmoke app you have been running (non stop) for years? It is not easy, but you can at least try. Starting today.

iRestmycase

iRestmycase

Why is my phone an iPhone?

Why does the sun rise from the East, people? How bad is it when you have the flu and your respiratory allergies at the same time (i hate spring because of my God damned allergies - #fact)? Is eggs and bacon tasty? Is the earth flat? Does the planet spin? You get the meaning? Not yet? O.K. let me use the big guns: Do rock stars age like the rest of us? Google "neil young neil old" and find out yourselves. And finally, does Lemmy drink a lot? Come on people, it is obvious.

That is why i will keep it plain simple. I use the "look mom, i now have a slightly longer screen that actually killed my former good looks but who really cares when they get an additional row for icons" iPhone 5 as my primary phone (if the phone=smartphone statement does not always return TRUE to you, you are reading the wrong blog (heck, you might as well be living in the wrong century) - you were warned) because it still delivers the best possible experience money can buy in the form of a normally sized (by now you should have been aware that size does matter)  mobile phone.

I could end this post right now, but i've never been the "homme fatale" kind of guy, you know the type who speaks little and impresses women with his air of mystery. My hit/miss ratio before i open my mouth is way too bad, but after i say what i want to say it gets significantly better (don't know maybe they just want to make me stop and give me their phone numbers - can't really say). Okay, i admit it, i babble all the time. That's why i keep the blog in the first place, i just need to get these out of my system otherwise the voices will drive my crazy. There is the Apple fanboy voice as well as the Apple hater one, that simultaneously speak inside my mind. Let's see what they have to offer, while both are still crystal clear.

Fanboy perspective

It just works. As it should. All the time. Let me put it this way: If i had to remote control a nuclear plant with a smartphone, i would demand that it was the iPhone 5. Moreover, if God Himself remote controls the universe with a smartphone, it has to be an iPhone, since no restarts have been performed over the last 14 billion years. One word: stability. Another one: speed. And the last one (okay, it's three words): ease of use.

The performance is stellar no matter if it is fresh out of the box or you have installed 41 apps (being the average US iPhone user)  or 1400 apps (which possibly means that your unlimited free time is your main problem). The damned phone runs smoothly. Always. The multitasking philosophy (with apps being suspended after some time - read this, it is very enlightening) is the child of a superior intelligence. It is the best possible implementation (android memory management used to suck big time) on a small screen where you do not want to have multiple windows.

From this point on, whenever you read iPhone you may assume it is the iPhone 5, unless the context leads you to understand that it means the iPhone line in general. Okay?

The iPhone has countless apps, most of them ranging from just good to plain outstanding. Most new apps that are not yet multi-platform are iPhone only. The camera is more than great. No manual settings, but who needs them when it manages to take decent pictures most of the time? Day or night, that is. The battery is enough for a day of very heavy use. There are more accessories than you care about.

If you happen to own other Apple hardware, you may enjoy a great degree of integration (iCloud is a great cloud implementation) that further simplifies your life.

The build quality is indeed fantastic! The industrial design that was launched with iPhone 4 is a case study on it's own. It is obvious that Apple takes care of even minor details both in the hardware manufacturing process as well as on the OS side. The size of the iPhone is "small enough to be comfortable to hold one handed", which is a claim few hi end smartphones can boast about nowadays.

To sum up, the iPhone provides an extraordinary ease of use for the vast majority of things the average  Joe (not the ultra geek propeller head type) does with his smartphone on an average day. That is also the reason many geeks (myself included) eventually fell in lovewith  the iPhone "peace of mind" after a whole second career in custom android ROMs and tweaks of the kind. Of course JB (note to self: do a dedicated post about this in the future) is a vital part of the iPhone experience for lots and lots and lots of people.  All in all, the iPhone makes your life a little better and that alone justifies it's heavy price tag.

Hater's corner

The iPhone 5 is ugly. Especially if you consider it's roots. It is quite a feat going from A to B in one step, where A is one of the most elegant smartphone designs ever and B equals A minus all it's grace plus an extra row for icons. Yes, it looks like a God damned TV remote control that costs 739 EUR to start with. It represents the Darwinian nightmare of de-evolution in the smartphone species. Take smth beautiful and twist it into ugliness while preserving 99% of it's original DNA. Once more: The iPhone 5 is ugly.

The OS is pretty simplistic. No widgets, notification bar still needs a lot of improvement (note to Apple engineers: see the various Cydia implementations or at the very least take a look at how android has been handling that for years now), and some minor but still very annoying bugs that Apple promotes as features: No SMS report for Christ's sake, no bluetooth file transfers, no easy way to mass delete emails  - these are just a few. Thank God for people like these who still manage to break the chains of Apple induced absolute control efforts. Thank you guys.

The iOS is not the platform developers tend to choose when we are talking about highly experimental implementations. That is because of Apple limitations, of course. See for example the Pebble smartwatch community. The watch barely works on iOS (although there is a certain guy who managed to overcome some of the Apple barriers for jailbroken iPhones at least), whereas connect it to an Android smartphone and it really shines. Same thing with the Metawatch Strata, as i have already told you about.

Last but not least, the iPhone screen could be much bigger if only Apple would stop avoiding the effort and cost of totally redesigning it in order to kill the home button and minimise the now huge margins above and bellow the screen. Don't even start doubting that. Of course it can be done. It was done in 2009 with the HTC HD 2.

The final verdict

Yes, despite it's bad points the iPhone still is the best phone money can buy. That is normally sized, that is. This is the sole reason i have an iPhone. I am not a fanboy and i am not a hater. I am just seeking the best user experience out of my smartphone.

But times change.

We have seen the HTC one which is the first non Apple device ever to boast a stunning design and top notch build quality. It would be my phone (instead of the iPhone) if it were a little smaller. Thank God for the HTC one M4 then, the rumoured 4.3 (perfect size, that is) inch little sibling of the HTC one.

We have also seen the Sony Xperia Z which is absolutely waterproof (see what these guys do to the Xperia Go that also offers same level of water resistance) and i think that manufacturers have to start thinking about this. It can be done. Why not do it, then?

Oh, one more thing. What about the next iPhone? Is it going to be a 5s with a slightly improved camera, faster processor and the same chassis? (God, spare me this torture!) What about iOS 7? Will it be more "open"? Will we be praying for the next JB as well or is there any hope that the best Cydia tweaks will become part of the OS? 

Nobody knows, people. But it all will probably be revealed this summer. Till then, i rest my case.

War of worlds: Apple fanboys vs haters

Apple fanboys vs haters

Had a little heated conversation a few days ago with a good friend of mine who has recently migrated from iPhone/iPad zealot to Samsung territory. The same guy who used to brag about how his iPhone 4S provided everything he needed (and how happy he was with that and how it changed his life) was trying to convince me that his Galaxy Note II is way superior to my iPhone 5, even though he does know how and for what i use my smartphone.  To be fair though, he only barely mentioned the whole iPad vs Galaxy Note 10.1 thing. Which means his brain is still working. There might still be hope for him.

Do not worry George, a new post is on it's way and it will try to explain to you (and everyone else who may (hopefully) be interested) why the iPhone 5 is still the best cellphone money can buy. Our whole debate (over WhatsApp for Christ's sake - we need to be locked in permanently) brought to my mind the Apple fanboy and hater stereotypes though, on which i will try to elaborate right away.

Fanboys

Yes, there is lemma for that. These are the people who would remortgage their house or stop eating out (or at all) in order to be able to have the latest Apple offering. There have been noted extreme cases of people offering their kidney for an iPad or negotiating their virginity for an iPhone. But please let's stay sane for the time being. 

Definition: A loyal fanboy as a soldier of Apple, (s)he has taken the oath to always buy stuff Apple sells and never look elsewhere. Sometimes the fanboys/girls are clever people, sometimes they are fashion victims, sometimes they are just trapped within the damned "Apple ecosystem". 

Details: They are the people you show the latest android smartphone flagship to and they are not willing to even start doubting Apple. They just hold it in their hands like Eve did the apple before biting into it. And then they give it back, because they can resist all other temptations since they already have the apple. Get it?

How to discern them: They are very easily spotted and the reason is very simple: They want to be seen. Ever noticed the complacent smile after they open the lid of their beloved Macbook Air? Or the way they are trying to count how many heads turned when they are flashing their iPhone 5 out of their pockets while waiting in the subway station? Do the mating attraction technics gorillas use come to mind? 

Territory: Trendy spots are their thing. Everything from cocktail bars to art installations, from ski resorts to Facebook rebel/warrior meet up places. The highest concentration of Apple fanboys may be found in Starbucks. 

Haters

If only i could get a cent of a Euro for every Apple hater (see this guy, here) i know. I would be rich man instantly and then have an indefinite unpaid leave from work and travel all around the world and of course sleep late tomorrow morning. 

Definition: The hater is a fairly straightforward kind of person. (S)he may be smart, funny, caring husband/spouse, good parent, valuable partner in work, a passionate lover even. That is until (s)he spots an Apple branded smth or the Apple brand is dropped into conversation. That is when the hater changes/goes berserk, putting even the  mightiest Alpha male werewolf shape shifter to shame (full moon is not mandatory though it sure is nice to have - adds a cinema like quality to the scene if you see what i mean). (S)he starts trembling, eyes grow bigger, verbal abuse is quite frequent, spittle is forming in the mouth, even cases of actual physical assault have been reported.

Details: The hater will never reach out and touch or (to make matters even worse) hold an iPhone. The hater has brainwashed (lobotomy is another possibility) himself for so long that he would not admit that the iPad is by far the best (the only one worth using - one might add) tablet even if his own survival was at stake. 

How to discern them: They are quite good at disguising themselves, so beware. Always perform the bellow test when in doubt: Throw towards them (not in an offensive action - a provoked hater may be dangerous) an iPhone and see if they just stare at you while the device crashes onto the pavement. If they can defy normal human physiology and control their reflexes to that extreme point they sure qualify as true haters. Also note that a strong statistical correlation has been found to exist between long haired males and Apple hating individuals.

Territory: Technical universities are hot spots, as well as corporate IT departments. Rock bars/clubs and alternative stages seem to also be their thing.

Warning

If you do not identify with one of the above categories, please try your best to keep it that way. It has been proven that individuals who keep their options open (regarding Apple products, that is) tend to make better choices of cellphones, tablets, computers and other electronic devices. They are rumoured to be living off better lives as well.  

Growing up a to be a tech addict/gadget freak (Part ΙI)

The long path to maturity

The day the earth stood still

It is October of 1996 and i am at the local newsagent's looking at the magazines.  And then my eye catches this: T3 magazine, issue 01.  A magazine called "Tomorrows Technology Today".  Have you ever felt this "love at the first sight" thing?  Now really, have you?  Well i have not, but i think that this moment of apocalypsis was as close as it can get.  I can only liken this experience to what a smoker feels when he smokes the first cigarette after fortyfive days of (obviously unsuccessfully) trying to quit.  For all you smokers (an ex-smoker is always a smoker) out there, this is what it felt like.  You know like a little window suddenly pops open through your misery and you can take a quick peek at he gardens of Heaven.  Instead of incoherently mumbling about how much i miss smoking right now though, i think it will be better if i get back on this one with a dedicated post.  That's a promise.

Back to day zero, then.  I see the cover of T3 magazine and focus on the Casio TV remote control watch on the top right corner.  And i think: "This magazine will change my life".  No really, i did think exactly this.  And my prediction was true.  For anyone laughing out loud, let me briefly remind you of the dark ages of 1996 (in Greece, at least). 

Internet access was a privillege of 53% of the population, as of last year! One can only imagine the situation back in 1996.  I looked around but could not find any stats.  My guess would be a maximum of 1% penetration and that would be univerisities and large corporates mostly.

But even if you look at the big picture: no Google, no Youtube, no Amazon, no eBay, you name it - it was not there.  Can you imagine this?  So where could a gadget lover find his beloved gadgets?  How could one get to even know what there is out there?  Magazines.  Yep.  T3 was there first.

The happy days

I really loved this magazine. Period. I have bought (and enjoyed from cover to cover) every single issue for more than a decade and then migrated to the zinio version on the iPad. I devoured the sacred information that was provided.  Gadgets i could not even believe existed were there for me to grasp.  Being held by gorgeous girls.  What else can a man want? (My big brother's opinion regarding the whole T3 / cover girls thing is a family secret i dare not reveal. Still, one may hypothesize...)

Walking (or rather sleeping late) through my early years as technical student i started indulging into my passion for small electronic things with an LCD screen, making no discriminations. I wanted everything. Especially cellphones and later smartphones. Greed was my middle name. I even had to get a job in order to satisfy my tremendous appetite for handheld beauties. Which was not a bad thing after all, but you know, once you start it is not easy to get back to the "relaxed days" of the student life...

But still i was (more or less) happy. Those lucky few who truly are "sick enough" among you might confirm that the best thing about getting a new gadget is not the gadget itself but rather the anticipation after you decide you are buying it and before opening the box. The all too familiar rash that powers us from deep within and turns us into true superheroes who will do anything in their might to manage and buy their object of desire before the stores close for the weekend, if you know what i mean...

I have to admit it, i have enjoyed more than my fair share of gadgets over this happy decade. Bear in mind though that trying to satisfy my addiction (with a limited budget) actually meant that i had to make choices. Hard choices. Including not only gadgets, but also experiences one may share with other people. I still remember skipping a very nice vacation when one of the first ever smartphones  - the infamous Nokia 7650 - was introduced, because uhmmm you know, i needed the money. Still, things were good, life was good and gadgets kept coming and going.

Dies Irae

The year is 2006, well before the economic recession that plagues Europe and especially Greece the last three years. Have i told you that T3 mag changed my life? Well that is when i stop reading it for a whole bunch of reasons including the following:

1. I eventually/unfortunately reached the age where the commodity of free time became scarce.
2. The internet (web mostly, but also youtube and forums) provided a great amount of gadget related info.
3. I had not enough storage space for the print version, while the electronic one i did not devour the way i used to with the mags. Can't really say why, since i am an ebook kind of person (absolutely love my Kindle paperwhite which actually is the only device - other than a phone -that i use EVERY day) and i certainly have no objections reading a mag on the iPad. It just happened i guess, kind of like the way relationships tend to deteriorate over a sufficient time period. Or like Windows tends to become "heavier" after some months of not formatting the hard disk.
4. My available budget to be spent on gadgets required a rather serious "reconsideration".

Above all though, i think i just  grew up (just a tiny bit) a little. I of course still enjoy gadgets but these days there has to be something really good in order to justify the urge that drills a hole in my pocket. It's not about features only, it's about design also. It may also have to do with my conversion from "vicious Apple hater" to "someone who appreciates fine devices no matter who manufactured them". After all, everything is made in China nowadays, isn't it?

A device needs to be good looking, simple to use and solve (instead of create) problems in order to deserve a place in my life. Now that i think about it, the same principle could possibly apply to women also. Nuhhh, just kidding. With women it's infinitely more complicated than that. Simple laws of logic do not apply. All deterministic theories were proven insufficient. No man ever understood women. Ever. Ask Al.

It is not about just me, either. The world over, consumers have become more demanding and intelligent, environmentally conscious and sceptical. The economic recession has indeed helped here, by forcing the average consumer into maturity.  Competition is fierce and this same consumer is the ultimate winner. It is not just about products, it is about life changing devices that provide a great experience and represent great value for money that is not being carelessly spent, not anymore. Beware manufacturers, you have to try your best, to innovate, to even anticipate our needs, to provide great after sales support. That is the only way you will succeed in taking our hard earned cash.

Growing up a to be a tech addict/gadget freak (Part I)

The early years

Just a dream at first

When did it all start? That is a tough one to answer, i have to admit.  I do recall a dream (no, i mean really dreaming - while being asleep) i had when i was 10 years old that my parents bought me a computer.  It was an Apple III (sort of) like thing in a bright white dreamy kind of colour.  (<Nerd Alert>Who can identify the brand and model of the laptop the girl is (okay, pretending to be) sleeping on?</Nerd Alert>)

Spectrum ZX

There was a friend of mine (same age) back then who owned (and even programmed in plain old BASIC) a Spectrum ZX (can't remember the exact model though) with a built-in (or maybe detachable - can't be sure) cassette recorder.  I am talking about crazy stuff here.  I can remember going  out in the backyard and playing basketball (i may be the only person on our side of the galaxy that has never ever managed to score a field goal worth of two points and this by no means is an exaggeration) for like 20 minutes while a game was loading!  Didn't matter though because we had plenty of free time and it was an honest to God real computer we were fiddling with.  (For those who may wonder, that particular boy - a true pioneer as far as i am concerned - grew up to become a software developer, of course).

My own PC

So i am 13 years old, it is June 21 (a fantastic sunny Friday as well as the biggest day of the year, if i may add) and my parents bring home as a gift my first ever computer (payed for it a huge amount of money - i think it was actually more than the entire monthly family income).  The infamous IBM PS/1 (model 2011), a real PC with a 80286 10 MHz processor, 1 MByte of RAM, a 30MB HDD and a VGA screen with 256 colours!!!! When i unboxed and connected it to the mains power supply i felt like the world was mine.  I stopped eating for like two days (wish that could happen nowadays also) and sat in front of the monitor for 13 hours straight, until my mom came and physically lifted me from the chair, while at the same time yelling incomprehensible threats that may have been related to her unplugging it forever if i do not go to bed.  Or even smashing it into a thousand pieces with a hammer.  So i went to bed.  But i did not sleep that night.  Who needs sleep when he is 13 and has his own PC (even if that particular IBM PC proved out to be actually incompatible with the cheaper IBM PC compatible ones - i know it sounds peculiar but it sadly is the bitter conclusion)?  Oh, and the year is 1991, let me add.

The video games era

On my PC i used to play adventure games (and i had a pascal compiler - or was it an interpreter? - installed and even coded simple stuff. See dad? It was a good decision spending all that money on my PC).  Lucasfilm games (later called Lucasarts entertainment) and Sierra titles mostly.  Monkey Island, Indiana Jones (The Fate Of Atlantis is possibly the best game i have ever played - my gaming career ended by 1999 though so i must have missed a lot of great things) and the Larry ("My son is becoming a real computer wiz! His teacher called him a 'master byter'".) series were games that i very much enjoyed.  But there were friends of mine (one of them is this guy) who owned games consoles (Sega MegaDrive, Nintendo SNES) and i have spent (way too) many hours of my youth trying to master the fine art of digitised sprites' heart tearing - my favourite fighter was Kano - combos in Mortal Kombat (The SEGA version had all the blood, whereas in the SNES one the censorship forces well uhmmm forced the developers to colour it green! Green blood for God's sake! And those who dictated that freaky mutation are possibly still among us making decisions...)

The seed of my love for all tech things portable

After i bought my first GameBoy (the original one) it clearly became apparent that it was the portability aspect that i mostly enjoyed in gadgets.  Even if i never took them out of my house (i know it sounds a little concerning...)!  I do not know how to explain it though (there has to be some psychoanalytical explanation, of course).  Even nowadays, i am inclined to prefer a high end cellphone to a 60 inch smart TV that costs five times more.  (Please note that in (the slightly remote - i know) chance that you decide to send me a wedding gift.)  To make things even worse i must publicly admit that sometimes i do not even care about the real functionality of a particular product, as long as it is small and shiny and has a motherboard and an LCD screen.

Want to know if you are the "I want it!" or the "Is it useful?" type of person? All you have to do is click this.  It is a pair of Digital Recording Binoculars that costs two grand and is absolutely of no use to me.  But i still want it. What about you? You get it now or should i call the shrink to explain in detail?

The gadget loving days

The day the earth stood still

--- to be continued

The smartphone dictatorship

The smartphone dictatorship

You name it, your smartphone can do it.  Surf the web – check, start your car – check, control an aerial UAV – check, act as a remote control for almost everything electronic inside your house – check, really boring staff (e.g. phone calls, SMS and uhmm other boring staff) – check, workout your abs – check, take stills and videos and instantly upload them to social networks – check, communicate with your shoes – check, play 3D games – check, make coffee – check, verify that your "significant other half" is cheating – check, measure your "bedroom performance" – check, analyse urine samples on the go – check.  This list can go on and on and on but I am typing on my smartphone right now and I will try to keep it short, because thumb typing on the tiny on screen keyboard is not very convenient (I bet you knew that already, but I had to stress it out).

I for once rarely ever turned my PC on, while my tablet too was gathering dust most of the time. Why is that?

Because I could do almost everything I would normally (before the super smartphone era) do with my PC/laptop/netbook/tablet with just one small, lustworthy device that I am condemned (and blessed) to always carry with me. So is there a problem with that?

You bet there is. Face it people. Smartphones can do many many things, but if you want a decent camera you still have to go get an SLR. If you want to browse the web, of course you can do it on an iPhone, but still a 10 inch tablet screen or even better a 23 inch IPS desktop panel will provide a vastly better experience.

Okay, you can sit on the couch and try to do everything with your smartphone. I have been doing this for a while, until my tech illiterate father asked me the million dollar question: “Son, why don’t you turn your computer on anymore; Can’t it do what your cell phone does?”

Thank you dad. For pointing out the obvious.

Well, dad is not actually suggesting that you ditch your smartphone and go get yourself the 14 or so devices that you can substitute with it.  What he is saying is, since you may already happen to own (or have access to) a laptop, a tablet, a netbook and a games console and since you cannot possibly be on the road ALL the time, just do yourself a big favour and use these instead, at least when you are at home.

To sum up, no one can deny that the smartphone has changed our lives for the better. But more and more people seem to only use their smartphone instead of other (more capable and suitable) devices, even when at home. We ended up making our lives more difficult, even miserable sometimes. Do we want this? Do we have to keep doing this? No and no.

To paraphrase the great Martin Luther King Jr., I have a dream that one day we will manage to deny the convergence utopia, where one device does it all and everyone is happy with that. I have a dream that one day we will be able to send the new dictator – the smartphone – back to where it belongs and that is not home.

(Still, I started typing this post on my iPhone.  But when I came home I switched to my MacBook.  And it was way better.  Try it out and see for yourselves.)

An Apple solution to "The Schnitzel Problem"

The Schnitzel problem

Having owned a lot of headsets (another dedicated post is in the pipeline) since Sep. 1997 (this is when it all started (this one also deserves another post sooner rather than later) - a rather dark day for my future paycheques), more than thirty of which were smartphones, i have to admit that during the last two years my (primary) phone has always been an iPhone. Yep.

I also had the original iPhone back in 2007 for a few days but (one could partly blame the initial FW as well as my AHD condition - Apple Haters' Disorder - back then) it was a few billion light years bellow the WinMo smartphones competition so i got rid of it fast.  For those who remember, there was no way to copy paste in the iOS at the time! Although i must admit that i was fairly impressed by the capacitive screen and the orientation sensor. FF to March 2011 when i got my iPhone 4, then on November 2011 came the very originally designed 4S and on December this year i purchased the very latest incarnation of the dead alive (loud applaud here) - the "honey, i elongated the iPhone while screwing a great design in the process" iPhone 5.

Have you ever been to Vienna? If it is schnitzels you desire, this is place to be in! Oh, they also have the Opera, but who cares? I have been there once (Vienna i mean, not the opera), at a very nice restaurant -called Figlmüller- which was famous for it's schnitzels.  You may imagine this particular piece of meat as a rough circle with a radius of about 15 cm, while being wafer thin. No need to imagine it, i found a picture of it! It was served as is, no mashed potatoes side, only with a tiny slice of lemon. Just the meat (which was delicious). However there was a slight problem...

• Definition of the problem: The schnitzel was bigger than the round plate it was being served into. Which was kind of akward because when trying to slice the meat while being near the edge there was no dish beneath. Also, if you folded the meat in half then you lost the "wafer thin" attribute which was one of the selling points.  Generally speaking, handling the otherwise great tasting piece of meat was not easy/functional/practical.  (Don't worry though, i managed.)
• Obvious sollution: Get a larger round plate, so that the schnitzel fits in its entirety.
• Prior to iPhone 5 Apple provided sollution: "You do not really want a shnitzel of such proportions. You may not know it yet but what you really need is smaller schnitzel. Repeat this for 100.000.000 times and then you should be healed. Because we know better than you what you actually like."
• Apple sollution in the iPhone 5 era: Provide the same shnitzel in an elongated ellipsoid plate that almost (but not quite) fits the meat along it's length but NOT AT ALL along it's width, after hearing a nice gentleman with a soothing voice (Sir Jonathan Ive) explain to you that a big enough round plate (obvious sollution) is something not good for you because the way you hold your plate your fingers cannot utilize the extra width of a larger plate because uhmm that's the way it actually is and you are a little dumb not to know it already but okay you may be forgiven if you select the ellipsoid plate that you hate in the first place but since you are a sinner (for wanting a larger plate, although you have been explicitly ordered not to ever want smth like that) you are going to pay a huge premium for that. Get the meaning or is it only clear in my twisted mind?

You don't? Let me switch to glorious analog and proudly present the bellow grainy sketch on an piece of paper (which was stained with tomato - had some sandwiches a while before) so i had to crop the image before you have the chance to admire my scribble.

Now let me bring the yummy schnitzel analogy to the iPhone design issue. The plate is the smartphone screen and the schnitzel is the information that we want to see on screen. The amount of info has been multiplying the last few years, while in the same time network costs for a flat UMTS or even 4G data plan have been reduced to bearable levels almost all over the world. Which means that there is available -as well as easy to grab while on the move- a substantial amount of information.  Still, the iPhone's screen has remained 3,5 inches in diagonal since 2007. (Yes retina quadrapled the number of pixels -the original 480 by 360 pixel resolution was indeed a bad joke-, but still the screen remained very small when compared to other high end smartphones.) 

You see, more and more people (see this) are willing to browse the web and watch videos and process images and videos and even read books on their cellphones, because they always carry them and are sometimes too bored to use a tablet or a PC (can't blame them, that's for sure).  So the plate was small while the shnitzel is getting bigger all the time.  Other big plates have been available and competition became fierce.  Apple has finally been forced to understand that people wanted a bigger screen, since 3,5" retina or not, are simply not enough.  So they had to betray their number one princliple, the commandment above all commandments!  They could not dictate to people that a 3.5 inch screen was the best for them anymore. WOW!

And what did they do? Preserving the iPhone 4 design, which may actually be the Holy Grail as far as they're  concerned, they decided to make it a little thinner and also boost the screen diagonal from 3,5" to 4" while going from a yummy, healthy 4:3 960 by 640 pixels screen (see photo on the left) to an -almost- anorexic 16:9 1136*640 pixels (see photo on the right). 

Result: A pretty lady that is stretched vertically, kind of like what we have to endure with 16:9 flat screen TVs and 4:3 content that is forced to feed the 16:9 screen in it's entirety, though in reverse.  So sorry about this Jessica...

You may already have figured out by now, but i actually do hate the iPhone 5 design.  I really wanted to love it, i tried hard.  But i just can't.  Why is it still my phone then?

It is essentially very simple: It still provides the best overall experience (expect another post about this sometime soon) compared to any other (normally sized for average people, that is) phone currently available on the market.  Even though calling it ugly is a real understatement.  

Let me here sum up my iPhone (love) life of the last two years, what it feels like (kind of):

• iPhone 4
• First very passionate few weeks with a crazy/beautiful girlfriend!
• iPhone 4S
• The second semester with the woman i actually care about and love.
• iPhone 5
• Staying with my "other significant half" that we've been together with for more than two years - no entusiasm but i can count on her and it is not easy (or even wise) to move on, since we have lots of common friends and even my parents like her.  Oh and she is a great cook, even if the plates she uses are too small for schnitzels...

Back to the schnitzel, then.  In my humble personal opinion Apple screwed it real bad with the iPhone 5 design.  Sales were still stellar, but i have a hunch that things may change in the future months.  Of course it is not just the aesthetic perspective that counts, but on the OS side it also seems that some major changes in it's philosophy are required if it is to keep selling like crazy.  Moreover, if Apple wants people to keep paying premium money for the iPhone, then it should provide a premium experience compared to the competition.  With HTC One already here and reviewers raving about how great a phone it is, all i can advise is to enjoy your schnitzel while it lasts.  Maybe it shall be the last one you'll ever have on such a small plate...